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2000 FRESCO Italia 300 Fantasy Edition

2000 Season Fantasy Edition (FRESCO Italia 300 @ Autodromo Tuscania June 25th, 2000)Edit

NotesEdit

  • Curse-words will be censored out by *bleep*s.

Car Numbers, Sponsors, Manufacturers, and DriversEdit

  • 1 Pennzoil Chevrolet (Jimmy Neutron)
  • 2 Miller Lite Ford (Rudy Tabootie)
  • 3 GM Goodwrench Chevrolet (Eddy "The Intimidator" McRich)
  • 4 Kodak Chevrolet (Remy Buxaplenty)
  • 5 Corn Flakes Chevrolet (Imaginary Gary)
  • 6 Valvoline Ford (Professor Finbarr Calamitous)
  • 7 PHILLIPS Nation's Rent Chevrolet (Wanda)
  • 8 Budweiser Chevrolet (Homer Simpson)
  • 9 Kodiak Ford (Mojo Jojo)
  • 10 Aaron's Pontiac (Jimmy from "Ed, Edd n Eddy")
  • 12 Mobil 1 Ford (Snap White)
  • 14 Conseco Pontiac (Nelson Muntz)
  • 16 TV Guide Ford (Buttercup Utonium)
  • 17 DEWALT Power Tools Ford (Evil Jimmy Clone)
  • 18 Interstate Batteries Pontiac (Ed"Lumpy" Monobrow)
  • 19 MOTOROLA Ford (Eduardo)
  • 20 Home Depot Pontiac (Eddward "Double-D" Marion)
  • 21 CITGO Ford (Princess Morbucks)
  • 22 CATERPILLAR Pontiac (Sandy Cheeks)
  • 24 DUPONT Chevrolet (Timmy Turner)
  • 25 Michael Holigan Chevrolet (Trixie Tang)
  • 26 KMART Ford (Bubble Bass from "Spongebob Squarepants")
  • 28 TEXACO Havoline Ford (Sheldon J. Plankton)
  • 31 LOWE'S Chevrolet (Blooreguard Q. "Bloo" Kazoo)
  • 32 Tide Ford (Blossom Utonium)
  • 33 Oakwood Homes Chevrolet (Mac Kazoo)
  • 36 M&Ms Pontiac (Spongebob Squarepants)
  • 40 Coors Light Chevrolet (Bart Simpson)
  • 42 Bellsouth Chevrolet (Cindy Vortex)
  • 43 STP Pontiac (Bubbles Utonium)
  • 44 Hot Wheels Pontiac (Kevin)
  • 45 Spree/Sprint Chevrolet (Sheen Estevez)
  • 55 Square-D Chevrolet (Stanley S. Squarepants)
  • 60 Power Team Chevrolet (Francis Bull-E)
  • 66 Route 66 KMART Ford (Fuzzy Lumpkins)
  • 71 Real Tree Chevrolet (Cosmo)
  • 75 Dinner & A Show/Pizza Hut Ford (Patrick Star)
  • 77 JASPER Ford (Rolf)
  • 88 Quality Care Ford (Lisa Simpson)
  • 93 Amoco Pontiac (Evil Officer Mike Brikowski)
  • 94 McDonald's Ford (Squidward Tentacles)
  • 97 John Deere Ford (Penny Sanchez)
  • 99 EXIDE Batteries Ford (Denzel Crocker)

Race WinnerEdit

  • 2 Miller Lite Ford (Rudy Tabootie)

Number Of LapsEdit

  • 74

Number Of CautionsEdit

  • 7

QuotesEdit

Quote 1Edit

  • (wiki-special opens inside Autodromo Tuscania outside Rudy's hauler while Rudy, Penny, Snap, Ed, Edd, Jackie, Timmy, Bubbles, Bart, and Lisa were all at the breakfast table eating breakfast Al Fresco)
  • Rudy (while scooping strawberry gelato on Bubbles' pancakes): Well, here you go, Bubbles. Fresh strawberry gelato straight from a FRESCO gelato machine and straight into this FRESCO tub I bought yesterday after Happy Hour (final practice).
  • Bubbles: Thank you, Rudy! Just how I like it! Sweet!
  • Edd (after gulping down a piece of his chocolate chip canoli-cream filled crepe): My. How scrumptious.
  • Jackie: Ice Cream was made for something like this. *takes a bite of her waffle a la mode (with chocolate gelato)*
  • Ed: Silly, Jackie! You don't eat ice cream for breakfast.
  • Edd: No Ed, what Jackie meant by what she said was that ice cream/gelato can be a topping on breakfast known as "a la mode".
  • Bart: Yeah, it's a shame neither mom nor Homeboy would let me have ice cream for breakfast, EVER. Well, Homeboy might eat ice cream for breakfast if none of my family's up before him. But I'm glad I'm in the NASCAR Winston Cup Series. Especially, the ice cream capital of the WORLD, Italy. And I have their best flavor of ice cream or gelato whatever you call it on my "world's best meal", mocha.*takes a bite of his French toast A La Mode (with mocha gelato)*
  • Lisa: Bart, mocha is coffee you know.
  • Penny: And coffee can sometimes make you hyper and prevent you from sleeping at night.
  • Bart: Chill, ladies. I drank iced mocha from Starbucks before. Anyway, this mocha gelato HITS THE SPOT! *takes another bite of his breakfast*
  • Ed: Like targets?
  • Timmy: So Edd, umm... how did everything go last night with Jackie?
  • Edd: Well, Jackie really loved that Italian restaurant we went to dinner last night.
  • Jackie: Yeah, it was actually dinner and a show known as a cabaret.
  • Edd: And the show was actually a concert by The Italian Tenors. Me and Jackie were lucky enough to meet them. They were quite nice and kindly performed "That's Amore" for us during our meeting session with them.
  • Jackie: They have such beautiful voices. I wish to perform with them someday.
  • Edd: *chuckles* Someday you might. *he and Jackie kiss on the lips*
  • Penny: So Timmy, um.. how's your ankle feeling?
  • Timmy: My ankle's doing much better. My doctor said the ankle had fully-healed on Thursday before we left to come here in this beautiful epic place.
  • Rudy: That's nice to hear, Timmy. And by the way, Bubbles, you did a great job wrestling your sickness for 200 laps in Michigan last week. (referring to the "2000 KMART 400 Fantasy Editon" wiki")
  • Bubbles (sadly): Awww... thank you so much, Rudy. Last week was HORRIBLE. Not only, I finished 32nd in last week's race, but when we pulled into the pits after the race ended, I was feeling so worse that my parents (referring to Professor Utonium and Ms. Keane) had to LIFT me out of my cockpit of my poor #43 car.
  • Timmy (to himself): And I remember texting the parents in-law with 10 laps to go to meet me in the the pits to get Bubbles out of the car when Blossom took the checkered flag.
  • Bubbles (sadly): It was my roughest, meanest race I've ever driven in. I thought I wasn't going to make it...! *tears up and sob a little*
  • Lisa (calmly): Awww.... please cast away those melancholy blues, Bubbles. And no, I don't mean the blues I play on my saxophone. *takes a bite of her swedish crepe a la mode (with peach gelato)*
  • Edd: Lisa's right, Bubbles. Please put last week's blues aside and feel happy you're having a great race weekend with us in the most romantic country in the world (referring to Italy).
  • Timmy: Yeah, Bubs. We had a great time so far. And by he way, this brand, spanking-new road-course on the schedule is indeed THE spot to kick bumper. I can't wait to send Crocker "cross-country" and far back in the field. Road-racing rules, and "King Of The Road" is my nickname! *takes a bite of his chocolate gelato-filled crepe*
  • Penny: And let's not forget this is the very first time we will be RACING on a road course in our lives.
  • Edd: Indeed, Happy Hour yesterday really got us used to the 12 tricky turns of this newly built road course, where we drivers have to turn left AND right.
  • Bart: *scoffs* Left turns STILL rule. *takes a bite of his French Toast Mocha Gelato a la mode* (scene cuts to "NASCAR Raceday: Served By The Krusty Krab")

Quote 2Edit

Quote 3Edit

Quote 4Edit

  • "That's Amore" by The Italian Tenors plays in the background to the sceneries of Italy on the ESPN telecast)
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): We're on the air live on ESPN, and what DO you get when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie? Well, not only that's amore, but live NASCAR action in Italy! This brand new road course here in Tuscany was finished being built about a month ago, and we will be christening the new Italian track with a NASCAR Winston Cup Series event! *"That's Amore" fades out slowly* Hello everyone, I'm Bob Jenkins alongside Benny Parsons, and this race, BP, whoa-hoa-hoa this first road course race of the season will be epic today.
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): Indeed it is, Bob. Not only this is a brand new road course, but this is the first time in years, we've been outside of the United States kickin' some bumper on the racetrack.

Quote 5Edit

  • Italian P.A Track Announcer: Appassionati di NASCAR, è giunto il momento per le più famose parole motore sport! Qui per dare il comando, il benvenuto al Grand Marshal per oggi FRESCO Italia 300, lettore futbol italiano, Fabio Grosso! (NASCAR fans, it is now time for the most famous words in motor-sports! Here to give the command, Please welcome the grand marshal for today's FRESCO Italia 300, Italian futbol player, Fabio Grosso!) *crowd cheers & roars loudly with World Cup Soccer air-horns blaring in the background*
  • Fabio Grosso: VIVA ITATLIA!!!! *crowd cheers and roars loudly with their air horns blaring* Signore e signori, accendete i motori!!!!! (Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines!!!!) *crowd cheers and roars loudly and blares their air horns*
  • *engines start and rev loudly in unison to the ballistic and exotic Italian crowd and their air horns* *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
  • Timmy (singing in an Italian accent): *starts his engine* (while raising his left fist in the air) OLE, OLE, OLE, OLE!!!! *scene cuts to Edd's cockpit*
  • Sandy: *starts her engine* Time to kick some bumper and gee-ter done tearing up some road-rash! YEE-HAW!!!!! *revs her engine loudly in unison to saying "YEE-HAW!!!!"* *scene cuts to Crocker's cockpit*
  • Crocker (while revving his engine / to himself): You'd better watch your back, Turner. I'm either gonna be plowing you into Turn #11, or send you off-course in the "esses"! *sinister laugh* *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
  • Rudy: *revs his engine* Alright, Grandparents from heaven (referring to his deceased Nonno & Nonna who lived in Tucany). I know you're watchin' this! Me, Penny, and Snap, are racing in your home city and country and we're gonna try and win this for you! *revs his engine twice* *scene cuts to Timmy's cockpit*
  • Timmy: And you had to be the luckiest dog this weekend cause you were the fan-favorite throughout the entire race weekend! *scene cuts to Bubble Bass' cockpit*
  • Bubble Bass *while revving his engine*: Who cares?! First of all, Rudy shouldn't have BEEN the fan favorite, and second of all, those krabby patties Squarepants cooked were never the best there were anyway. (referring to the "Spongebob Squarepants" episode "Pickles") *snobbish laugh* *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
  • Rudy: (in unison to revving his engine twice) You know what, I really don't care what you think about Spongebob and his Krabby Patties, Trouble Bass, you were a sore sport to begin with and secondly, we've got a road race to run (referring to road course racing), and I'm sending you "cross-country" (referring to sending him off-course* to teach you a lesson about evil criticism. *revs his engine* *scene cuts to Bubble Bass' cockpit*
  • Bubble Bass: *scoffs* We'll see about that, Chalk Boy. *revs his engine loudly* *scene cute to Rudy's cockpit*
  • Rudy: *scoffs* I doubt it. *revs his engine twice* *scene cuts to ESPN Broadcast Booth*
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): The 43 stock cars roar to life here inside Autodromo Tuscania *scene cuts to the track* and this brand new racetrack is gonna get it's first ever green flag all due to this being the first EVER race of any kind at this brand new road course, and that green flag is next on ESPN!

Quote 6Edit

  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the Italian fans cheering & roaring, and blaring their air-horns): For the very first time inside Autodromo Tuscania, the track will receive the green flag, as the pace car pulls into pit road! *crowd roars louder as pace car pulls in* We are set to go in the FRESCO Italia 300... *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by Mario Andretti, crowd roars loudly and blare their air-horns in unison*... as legendary Italian-born driver, Mario Andretti waves Autodromo Tuscania's very first green flag! We're racing in Italy! Glad you're with us on ESPN!
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): And these fans love it, man oh man!
  • Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Today, for the very first time in this track's history, the green flag will be flown, and the NASCAR Winston Cup Series FRESCO Italia 300 will be it's first ever event! Here comes the field now, approaching the start/finish line, ready to get the race underway! Rudy Tabootie and Finbarr Calamitous are in command as the Ferrari pace-car heads behind the pit-wall!
  • Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Pace-car gets behind the wall, green flag is on the field as they race up the hill toward Turn #1. Finbarr Calamitous grabs the early lead, he'll hang onto it. He was single-file, turnin' up the hill. Everyone else's jockeyin' around, and quickly they'll get into single-file as they make that first hard corner and get up at the top of the hill. Now the field's beginning to "string" out a little bit as they work up to the top of the hill on this new road-course.
  • Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Finbarr Calamitous exits Turn #2! Right behind him, he's got Rudy Tabootie in 2nd as they climb the hill entering Turn #3! Timmy Turner, in single-file is riding along in 3rd, 4th is Remy Buxaplenty, 5th is Eddward Marion! The challenge is side-by-side for 6th! Jimmy Neutron's at work there, going underneath Francis Bull-E! He'll grab the spot goin' to Turn #5!
  • Fred Armstrong (MRN Radio): They're "snaking" their way down the hill for the first time on the set, down the carousel turn! Here's Finbarr Calamitous cutting off an advance by Rudy Tabootie, who looked to the inside on the entrance of the corner! Now they'll spill out onto the straightaway, single-file!
  • Dan Hubbard (MRN Radio): Barreling outta the carousel for the first time, it's still Finbarr Calamitous in the #6 Valvoline Ford at the point! He has half a car-length over Rudy Tabootie in 2nd! Timmy Turner's joining the party now in 3rd, and Remy Buxaplenty, a very close 4th! Calamitous' driving very defensively, cutting Tabootie off to the outside line! It's single-file out of Turn #7! Tabootie looks briefly down to the inside now tucks back into line! Timmy Turner's still in 3rd, Remy Buxaplenty 4th! They're "flying" down the esses!

Quote 7Edit

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Quote 23 Edit

  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Bart Simpson is halfway home in the FRESCO Italia 300! Can he hold on and get his 1st career win and punch his "ticket" into the playoffs?!
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN): I don't know, Bob! Rudy Tabootie was dominant all race long, and so was Imaginary Gary! So he'd better watch his back--! *in unison, Bart suddenly locks up the front wheels and slides into the grass (in unison, he exclaims as he did in "The Simpsons" episode "Trilogy Of Error* and gets back on the track, losing the lead to Rudy Tabootie and 2nd place to Imaginary Gary*
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN) WHOA! Bart Simpson!
  • Benny Parsons (ESPN / in unison to Bob's last 2 quotes): Bart Simpson misses the corner! HE MISSED THE CORNER!
  • Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Bart Simpson loses the lead, and that slip had just cost him the race! Now the battle is on for the win up front as Rudy Tabootie and Imaginary Gary clash it out for the victory! *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
  • (off the "esses", and in Turns 9 & 10)
  • Rudy (in 1st): UNGH! Back off, Gary! I need this win! *scene cuts to Imaginary Gary's cockpit*
  • Imaginary Gary (in 2nd): Ugh, no you don't, chalk boy! If that no-good Bart Simpson can't do it, I know YOU can't! *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
  • Rudy (in 1st): HAH! Test me on this course, "Imaginary Do--*bleep*--bag"!*scene cuts to Imaginary Gary's cockpit*
  • Imaginary Gary (in 2nd / voice only): Test you?! I KNOW I'll pass! *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
  • Rudy (in 1st): NA-UH! *scene cuts to the track*
  • Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): They approach Turn #11 for the final time this afternoon! Imaginary Gary tries to make a charge into the paper-clip shaped corner, he gets the nose underneath Rudy's #2 Miller Lite Ford, but Rudy Tabootie is now gonna pull away as they exit the corner! Rudy Tabootie, in is his grandparents' home country (referring to Italy), will come off of Turn #12, the final corner and win the FRESCO Italia 300! *in unison, Rudy screams excitedly and cries in happy tears, crying out "YEAH!!!! I WON!!! I WON!!!! THIS WAS FOR YOU, NONNO AND NONNA!!!!"* A HUGE first career win for Rudy Tabootie, as his #2 Miller Lite Ford crew celebrates along with the Italian fans in the stands and infield! Rudy Tabootie has now "punched his ticket" into the playoffs! This is just incredible!

Quote 24 Edit

Quote 25 Edit

TriviaEdit

  • Since this is the 2000 season, the commentators on TV (ESPN) will be Bob Jenkins (now retired) & Benny Parsons (1941-2007).
  • The MRN Radio commentators for this wiki-race legacy will be Allen Bestwick & Barney Hall (in the booth), Joe Moore (Turns 1-4), Fred Armstrong (Turns 5, run-off straightaway) Dan Hubbard, (straightaway, & Turn #7), Mike Bagley (the "esses" and Turns 9 & 10).
  • The pit reporters (radio) will be Winston Kelly, Jason Toy, Steve "The Postman" Post, Jim Phillips, Alex Hayden, Adam Alexander, and Jeff Streigle.
  • Autodromo Tuscania is a fantasy track (with 12 turns) that spoofs the old version of SEARS Point Raceway, which is now Sonoma Raceway.
  • This is one of the 4 races outside of the U.S along with Equestria, Fairy World and The Island of Sodor.
  • Since this wiki-race is in Tuscany, Italy, the MRN commentators won't be heard at the track because the Italian commentators will be the heard at the track.
  • The MRN Radio will be heard only on the radio airwaves for MRN Radio listeners.
  • This is the first out of 2 road course races of the season.

Autodromo Tuscania (Spoof of SEARS Point Raceway from the year 1997)Edit

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